BLOG #distraction


21Oct

Self-Doubt, Imposter Syndrome, the Fraud Factor or Self-Sabotage has many guises. Learn to recognise it and how to overcome it.

Self-Doubt, Imposter Syndrome, the Fraud Factor or Self-Sabotage has many guises and it has been showing up A LOT over the last week for me, my coaching clients and my yoga students.

Is it slowing you down?

Even today, as I write this, my inner Gremlin piped up, ‘why are you even bothering, who’s going to want to read this’?  Of course, I politely thanked it, gave it the finger, then continued.

My friend Mary, who is also a fantastic Coach, calls her inner critics or Gremlins the ‘shitty committee’🤣 how brilliant is that!

Do you have a name for yours? When does your Gremlin or ‘shitty committee’ pop up?

I've noticed how my Gremlins are particularly shouty when I am going through shifts, growth spurts in my evolution or when I embark on a new project in my business. I used to freak out and then procrastinate, then do that thing I like to call Ostrich Syndrome where I bury my head in the sand! Thankfully, I don’t do that anymore - although procrastination does occasionally show up and when it does, I know it’s my self-doubt trying to out smart me!

Nowadays, I welcome my Gremlins (sometimes it definitely feels like more than one!) with open arms, give them a cuddle and shower them with love. Acknowledging that these Gremlins are just facets of me that are scared, small unresolved or unhealed parts of me, hidden and buried in my subconscious. They fear disapproval, judgement, being disliked and rejection.  This stems from our past; if our ancestors were rejected from their tribes or communities, it resulted in death, but thankfully rejection these days generally does not result in death!  The old primitive brain, or limbic brain, is doing its job and keeping us safe, as this is what it has learnt. So it's a matter of bringing this to our awareness, reassuring our brain (and Gremlins) that these fears do not have an awful ending.  Yes, it will feel uncomfortable but we need to allow ourselves to sit with and be amongst the discomfort of those feelings, without distraction.  Soon those feelings of rejection, disapproval, dislike no longer feel scary.

Growth is uncomfortable (remember growing pains?!) and transformation is icky, but if we don’t get comfortable with the uncomfortable, we continue to play small, or to stay invisible.  As well as our limbic brain, our ego (in the form of Gremlin or inner critic) chimes in to protect us. They hold us back from radiating our true greatness.  The best thing we can do is to surrender to the discomfort, give it the attention and love it needs to transmute it.  When we transmute energy, this is where the alchemy happens.  From here we can take action that is aligned with who we truly are.

So next time self doubt appears, know that it’s a sign that you’re on the right path and that a new you is emerging.

I no longer do the power pose in a corporate toilet cubicle before presenting to hundreds (although there is nothing wrong with it!) I have a Mary Poppins bag full of technologies and strategies to clear out the subconscious, to shift and transmute energy and emotions that come up in my day to help me navigate through the challenges with more grace, courage and ease.  

This is why I chose the Good Morning Krya for last Thursday’s Kundalini Yoga class.  Whether you are an entrepreneur running your own business, a corporate leader or a busy mother, this krya gets you started physically, emotionally and mentally.It’s called Good Morning because it gets everything started, just like the morning gets the day started. Of course, you don’t have to do it in the morning; it can be done anytime of the day.  This krya will support with:

  • Motivation 
  • Focus and clarity
  • Balancing the endocrine system (homeostasis)
  • Breaking negative thought patterns, habits of Self Doubt, ‘Imposter Syndrome’ or ‘Fraud Factor
  • Building courage
  • Increasing confidence

If you missed the live class, fear not! You can access the recorded replay here:

Go on, give it a go!

As one of my clients insightfully said to me after her session last week, 'sometimes we have to breakdown to have the breakthroughs!' As a Coach I hold space for my clients so that they are held and supported during and in-between sessions. Coaching is a co-creation, so don't ever feel you have to through any of the discomfort alone.

If you feel you may need some additional support with breaking patterns and habits of Imposter Syndrome and self-doubt, or heal subconscious blocks that are holding you back, then book your free 60 minute Coaching Consultation with me to see how Coaching can help you. Book your your Free Consultation here.

Beautiful Soul reading this, it is time for you to rise, to show up and be visible.  The world needs your light right now, more than ever.

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24Oct

It seems curious that 'busyness' has become such a status symbol of our times.  Why has busyness become a marker for success? We wear it like a badge of honour, "Oh I'm SOOOO BUSY!" When was the last time you heard someone exclaim that they weren't busy?

We are too busy to go on holiday, to switch off even when we are on holiday, we are so busy that we have to read our emails/social media feeds before bed and the minute we wake up...It is deemed perfectly normal to be glued to your smartphone and have your laptop surgically attached to you.

How and why have we forgotten the art, and maybe more importantly, the value of doing less and slowing down?

Let's rewind to 27 BC (ish), to the time of the Roman Emperor Augustus, who famously coined the term "Festina Lente!", translated as "Hasten, Slowly" or "Advance, Slowly" (given the military connotations).  Now this oxymoronic phrase was one of many he used, including "Better a safe commander than a bold""That which has been done well has been done quickly enough".  

Emperor Augustus was clearly a busy man himself, he had an Empire to build, soldiers to train, but his words seem sage-like for one who conquered most of Europe and beyond.  His considered and reflective approach seems to have served him and his empire well.

Fast forward to the year 2019 and Augustus's quote serves as a reminder that in order to get things done, it has to be done well, which does not mean quickly, nor simultaneously with everything on our mile-long to-do lists.

Of course, there are two millennia in between us and Augustus, but I still can't help but think there is a wisdom in his reflective style that we have forgotten.  Under all our mile-long to-do lists, goals the size of houses, constant need for likes and spinning more plates than we can handle is a need to be distracted. Have we become a generation that is afraid to pause, reflect, to go within and introspect?

The exponential growth of technology in this century has added to our life of distractions. According to one source the human brain is loaded with 34GB of information...daily! That's a HUGE amount of data, that would overload a laptop within a week.  

Microsoft research shows that our concentration span has fallen from 12 seconds from 2000 to 8 seconds in 2019. That's a 1/3 in the last 19 years, which seems quite significant.  Although not really a surprise given that everything is now bitesized, you only have to watch Peppa Pig!

Thankfully, we aren't computers and we can allow ourselves the space to reflect.  We can ourselves ask ourselves if "this attraction is a distraction?" and take a moment to slow down, pause and NOT react to the next what's app message that appears on our phone or the next email that pings into our inbox.

Not reacting is key, but not as easy as it sounds.  Scientific data shows we seek comfort in the instant gratification, it makes us feel momentarily better and gives us a dopamine high, which we may regret later. 

The origins to why we like being busy could go even deeper still, ranging from the inability to say no due to our social conditioning, not setting clear boundaries for ourselves or using it as a coping mechanism.  

Long term goals may not give us that dopamine hit that we so enjoy, but in order to pursue that promotion, to find that relationship, to create that financial stability we need to nurture ourselves and in order to advance, we have to go about it slowly and take our time.  But if all we are doing are the little instantly gratifying tasks, then there is no time to do the big things that make a difference in our lives and create a life of purpose.

Thankfully, as I mentioned above, we are not computers.  And we have a choice.

Next time we find ourselves telling others we are "So busy", let's take a moment to explore what it really means:

  1. Am I really saying...I'm overwhelmed, I'm more important than you, or I am avoiding someone or something in my life?  Take a moment or two for self reflection, perhaps we need support, what or who exactly are we avoiding or perhaps there is a deeper meaning behind why we are getting distracted.  Really try to hone in on what it is.
  2. Let's be kind and compassionate to ourselves as we would be towards others.  Don't let the gremlins in our head berate ourselves for taking time out to reflect and be a human being, after all we are not human doings.  Self care is key, especially if you have other people to support.

If we can recognise these elements within ourselves, then it's a great start.  Although we might feel uncomfortable with this introspection we can only move forward when we do AND when coupled with taking action it can help us to do things differently, thus avoiding burnout.

Going back to Emperor Augustus, if we remember his mantra in our modern day lives, and choose to take the time to reflect and see clearly. Pause and take a moment to imagine what is achievable. 

Coming from a guy who created the Roman Empire...it might actually be quite BIG.  

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