Shine Your Light
Lead With Your Heart
Live Limitlessly

 
I'm Tuğçe Koçoğlu-Hobden, Founder of Heart & Purpose and Host of Light Conversations and I am a Spiritual Life Coach, Energy Alchemist and Mystic.

Certified Transformative Life Coach*, Kundalini Yoga Teacher** and Divine Dragon Energy Healing™ Practitioner***.  

Click here to see my certificates.

Blending these supportive, transformative technologies help fast track awareness, growth and expansion so you can step into alignment, be your authentic self and the empowered leader you came here to be.

As a Coach and Healer I support my clients to heal and release past wounds, accept and integrate their shadows, find emotional/mental/spiritual balance, overcome old programming, subconscious blocks and patterns that no longer serve them, empowering them to rewrite their scripts and become the authors of their lives.

Certified Kundalini Yoga Teacher, I completed my 200HR YTT Teacher Training at Kundalini University**.  Kundalini Yoga is also known as the Yoga of Awareness.  It is a practice designed to give you the tools you need to raise your awareness or your Kundalini energy, in a contained and controlled way. Kundalini energy is incredibly powerful and in Kundalini Yoga we learn to harness this energy in a way that serves us.

It is my mission to help you remember your gifts, reclaim your magic and reveal the master or mistress within. 

Over the years I have learnt to embrace my introvert, empathic and highly sensitive nature - I am a 6/2 Profile, and Gene Key 59. (If you're interested in Human Design, I offer readings!) Whist I love meeting new people and engaging in meaningful conversations - I don't do small talk well! Large groups situations can leave me feeling drained, so I've learnt when to tap into the hermit wisdom within (6/2 profile!) who knows when it's time to step back and recharge.

My daily Sadhana (practice) includes Kundalini Yoga, breathwork or meditation, self healing, a woodland walk and quiet time preparing and drinking Ceremonial Grade Cacao. Not all at the same time! I've never been one to have a routine at a specific time of day, that's just not how my body and energy works, instead I prefer to sprinkle these practices throughout my day.

I am a passionate off-road runner (although I am having a break due to a minor injuiry), I'm a coach for my daughter's U14 football (soccer) team, which keeps me grounded. I firmly believe that women's football is in need of divine feminine energy!

Prior to setting up my Spiritual Coaching Practice, I gained my BA (HONS) in Communications & Psychology. After graduating I travelled our beautiful planet for 18 months before my conditioning of I 'ought to' get a real job kicked in!

Running my own business was something I had always dreamed of, I was enticed by the shiny world of advertising in my early twenties, and it seemed like a good use of my degree! Although Spiritual Coaching was not in my awareness until recent years, I had began my Spiritual journey in my early childhood until I became separated from it in my 20's.

As a child I was curious about my grandmother psychic gifts and fascinated by her Turkish coffee readings. I used to sing to my 'home star', and I had a very active imagination! As a teenager I taught myself to read Tarot and Astrology and enjoyed doing readings for my friends right up until I finished university.

In my early 20's, after travelling for 18 months, I felt my conditioning kick in to get a 'proper' job. It was around this point I began to hide my Spiritual side. After years of never feeling like I fit in, I thought it was time to conform, so I packed away my Tarot cards and astrology books into my Spiritual closet for the next 20 years.

I spent the next two decades working in Global Digital Media Planning developing integrated Digital and Offline strategies for Fortune 100 companies: HTC, Vodafone, Sony CE, PlayStation, Hewlett Packard Inc and Apple Inc,

As an Executive Director I led many multi-million dollar Forbes 100 Global Clients and large teams. I understand Senior Clients's business needs, how to effectively build teams, nurture and develop them through training, appraisals, mentorship and coaching. I also understand collective success, the power of diversity and how to empower people to work productively, collaboratively and build trusting relationships. Having worked on a Global scale I know what it means to be empathic to every person, no matter what their role and no matter where they are, by encouraging and inspiring them to align to a common outcome.

On paper I was 'successful' but I was completely out of alignment and I had forgotten what it meant to live a life in flow. The separation from my Spiritual and Soul connection was beginning to show up in many ways in my life - my non-existent work/life balance, smartphone addiction, people pleasing tendencies, I felt that success could only be earned by 'hard work', my victim/blame mindset became my default programming, I suffered from huge mummy guilt and sought comfort in food and wine. I was unhappy, exhausted, stressed and anxious. My mind, body and soul were out of alignment. Deep within I knew it was because I wasn't living my soul's purpose - I kept ignoring the whispers, until they became loud knocks and manifested as physical illness or dis-ease.

Finally, I woke up.

Burn-out is a very common medical condition, especially amongst women in the corporate world. The corporate world, although slowly changing, honours toxic masculine energies. This toxic masculine energy shows up as 'busy', always rushing and 'can't stop' type of way. Masculine and Feminine energies are not about gender - they are energies and we are in continuous flow or dance between both masculine and feminine, the yin and yang. Unfortunately the feminine energies have been undermined in Western society, to our detriment. When we are consistently operating on toxic masculine energy, I believe it causes burnout, for women as well as for men.

I know what it is like to suffer from anxiety, depression, stress and burnout, to not listen to your body, to push through and ignore the whispers of your soul when it is screaming at you to pay attention and showing you signs that something is out of alignment. For me I had to face illness but it doesn't have to be this way.

We have to unlearn our old programmes and relearn to trust in ourselves - our inner guidance, inner GPS, guides or angels, the universe, your intuition - whatever name you give it.  We have lost connection with ourselves.  We have to go deep within, face our shadows, accept, embrace, transmute and integrate. We are ALL capable of making changes and creating shifts, when we take a moment to slow down, be still, get out of our heads and back into our bodies and tune into our inner wisdom and hearts.

By taking purposeful and aligned action, these small, powerful shifts, can have a huge lasting impact in our lives.

If you're interested in working with me, book your free exploration call here and see if Spiritual Life Coaching can help you.

*Animas's Dip. in Transformational Coaching (DTC) is Accredited by the Association for Coaching, the UK's largest professional body, and the International Coaching Federation (ICF).

**Kundalini University 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training - Certified Yoga Teacher.  Yoga Alliance RYT 200-Hour approval.

***Divine Dragon Energy HealingTM, Level 2, (Practitioner). Accredited by the IICT (International Institute of Complementary Therapists).

Bespoke 1: 1 Containers Co-Created For Your Unique Growth

Kundalini Yoga is a bit different to other yoga practices and is often called the Yoga of Awareness.   It is also known as the Yoga for 'householders', because it is inclusive and designed for everyone. It is an adaptable practice that can fit around our busy, modern day lives and schedules.  Personally, I like to sprinkly my day with asanas, breathwork and mantra meditation as I can't often fit in a long practice, first thing.

Kundalini Yoga is powerful and works very quickly to shift the energy through your physical and metaphysical bodies. It is said that 1 year of Kundalini Yoga is the equivalent to 5 years of Hatha. It is a practice that I have found has gifted me with grace, strength and self compassion as well as an ability to remain calm, centred and aligned throughout life's challenges. Kundalini Yoga helps us to navigate life, through the good bits and messy bits, with grace and ease.

Kundalini yoga is designed to activate your Kundalini energy, which lies at the base of your spine, through a set of practices called kryas; meditation, mantras, pranayam (breathing exercises), and asanas (postures).

Kundalini Yoga works with specific glands and organs and unblocks the chakras (our energy centres), so that the energy can flow freely through the spinal coloumn. For more information about this ancient, transformative and powerful practice request a copy of my free Kundalini Yoga 101 guide here.

I offer Private Kundalini Yoga classes.  In your complimentary consultation class, we will co-create a programme that is bespoke to you. What are your intentions for practicing Kundalini Yoga? What is the outcome you are desiring? Based on our conversation, I will create a Krya (a set of asanas / postures, based on a specific outcome - tuning in, warm ups, breathwork, asanas, savasana) and partner it up with either a mantra meditation, silent meditation or pranayam (breathing techique).
The programme will also include healing, as mentioned above, either in the form of sound, our voice in the form of mantra, or in the form of other healing modalities that I work with. Please don't let the chanting put you off - I was not a fan myself at first! This resistance may be a sign of something bigger that may need looking at, so if you are not comfortable with chanting, listening and aborbing is just as healing and beneficial.

Book your Private Kundalini Yoga consultation call, here

Want to practice Kundalini Yoga in your own time? Why not buy a recorded class?
Investment: £12 (incl. VAT).
Pick your class from the library here.
DIVINE DRAGON ENERGY HEALING image
I am a certified Divine Dragon Energy Healing Practitioner, which has been approved by the IICT, International Institute for Complimentary Therapists.

People often look a bit confused, some even a little scared (!), when I mention I'm a Divine Dragon Energy Healing Practitioner, but there really is nothing scary about working with Dragon Energy!

Most people will be familiar with energy healing modalities like Reiki, Touch Therapy or Sound Healing. Some people will have heard of Angelic healing, others may have heard of Unicorn healing. These are all simply different frequencies that we are tapping or tuning into.

Divine Dragon Energy Healing is a high frequency energy healing modality, brought through by my beautiful teacher Aodaoin Hathaway, Founder of Dances With Dragons 

Unfortunately, our culture has given Dragon's a bit of a bad rap! They're not fire breathing beasts that they've been made out to be in the Western world. Similar to those beings of the angelic realm, Dragon's are a not 3rd dimensional beings, or present in our physical/material reality, i.e. we cannot physically touch them. They are energetic, of a different frequency, that we can tune into or attune to.

The Divine Dragons are a hugely supportive and loving group of Dragons, ready to support us on our healing journey's. They are straight talking, direct but hugely compassionate and have a lot of love towards us human 'doings', sorry a bit of Dragon humour!! They are here to support us on our journey back to ourselves, back to Nature and back to Mother Earth. They are here to guide and support us so that we may live our lives with fierce grace and compassion for ourselves, for each other and for Gaia. They are here to support us so we may unlearn deep programming and reconnect with ourselves, which at times can feel like a long and ardous journey. Look out for signs and synchroncities. They're always here to support those who are willing to do the work.

Home and property energy clearing: £88
This is a remote energy clearing for your home.
Includes: an audio recording of insights or guidance that came through during the clearing work.
Book here.

Divine Dragon Energy Healing Session: £222
1x 90 minute healing session, via Zoom or in person.
Includes: 1 week of what's app support (post the clearing), a short audio of insights and guidance around the area of your healing and a copy of the recording.
Book here.

Divine Dragon Energy Healing Winter Nourishment Package - 3 sessions for the Price of 2...Only £444
Designed for a specific challenge you are looking for a solution for. 
3x 90 minute healing session, via Zoom or in person.
Includes: What's app support inbetween the sessions, short audio insights and guidance around the area of your healing and copies of the recordings.
Book here.

Book your sessions here, or contact me here, if you have any questions.

Hear what Natasha, Founder of Mind, Body and Soul Energy, had to say about her Divine Dragon Energy Healing experience here.


31Jan

Exploring the differences in signs and symptoms between Kundalini Awakening and Spiritual Awakening

Spiritual evolution and growth are often associated with various signs and symptoms that can be challenging for us to interpret. Two such transformative experiences are Kundalini Awakening and Spiritual Awakening. Although they share commonalities, there are distinct characteristics that set them apart. To understand these experiences better, it is essential to look at the signs and symptoms unique to each. In this blog post, we will explore the nuances of Kundalini Awakening and Spiritual Awakening, offering insight into how they manifest in individuals on their spiritual journey.

Understanding Kundalini Awakening

  • Intense Energy Surges: A hallmark sign of a spontaneous Kundalini Awakening is the feeling of intense energy moving through the spine or the sushumna nadi. This energy, known as Kundalini. The Kundalini, known as the 'coiled serpent', lies dormant at the base of the spine until activated.  Often people feel this energy moving up from the root chakra, at the base of the spine, through each of the 7 chakras (energy centres) up to the crown of the head.
  • Physical Manifestations: Once awakened, Kundalini can cause involuntary body movements, along with intense sensations of heat or cold, tingling, and vibrational frequencies felt throughout the body. 
  • Psychic Abilities: Kundalini Awakening can enhance or awaken psychic abilities such as clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience or other gifts.
  • Altered States of Consciousness: Individuals may experience profound meditation states, trance-like states, out-of-body experiences, or deep inner visions.
  • Emotional Release: It often triggers a purging of stored emotions and can lead to intense feelings of bliss, joy, love, or even fear, shame and anger.
  • Heightened Sensory Perception: A heightened awareness of one's surroundings, an increase in the acuteness of senses, or extrasensory perception are common.

Kundalini Awakenings can be both ecstatic and challenging, and it's not uncommon for the experience to be intense and overwhelming at times. It often requires guidance from experienced practitioners to navigate safely.

Not all Kundalini Awakenings are spontaneous - for instance those who practice Kundalini Yoga, Breathwork and Meditation often experience Kundalini Awakenings in a more contained and measured way through practicing Kriya's or Krya's - a set of asanas (postures), pranayam (breathwork) with mudra (hand movements).  It is less overwhelming on the nervous system and physical body when the energies are activated through practicing Kundalini Yoga.  

Please note that Kundalini Yoga is not dangerous when practiced correctly.  As an experienced Kundalini Yoga Practitioner and Teacher, I have not seen anyone having a negative 'reaction' from practicing Kundalini Yoga.

Understanding Spiritual Awakening

  • Expanding Consciousness: Spiritual Awakening generally refers to a broad expansion of awareness and a perception of a reality beyond the physical world of our third dimensional reality, to fifth dimensional reality or beyond.
  • Life Perspective Changes: Values, beliefs, and priorities may undergo a significant shift, with a decreased interest in materialistic pursuits and an increased focus on personal growth and service work.
  • Increased Intuition: Spiritual Awakening can enhance your inner knowing and intuition, guiding you more strongly in your daily life.
  • Desire for Solitude: Spending time alone becomes important for introspection and self-reflection, as one seeks to understand their place in the universe.
  • Feeling of Oneness: A profound sense of connection to all living things and the universe as a whole often accompanies a spiritual awakening - this is also felt in a Kundalini Awakening.
  • Deepened Empathy and Compassion: There's often an increased empathy and compassion towards others, a hallmark of spiritual maturing.

On the spiritual path, awakening is a continual process that can happen subtly over time or through sudden, profound experiences. It is usually less intense in its physical manifestations than Kundalini Awakening and usually revolves around philosophical or existential shift or from the gradual development and growth of awareness.

Spiritual Awakening can involve a Dark Night of the Soul, this too can be an overwhelming experience.  Some may have emotional experiences that feel similar to depression but not everyone who has depression is experiencing a dark night of the soul or vice versa.  It is important to seek medical advice from a professional if you think you are experiencing depression and not a Spiritual Awakening. 

A Spiritual Awakening can be activated by a life experience, trigger, or disruption that was unexpected or an event that one is unprepared for, or feelings of hopelessness.  Some may experience a midlife crisis or hitting rock bottom or losing their sense of purpose/direction.

One may experience 'waking up to life' with a Spiritual Awakening. 

Differentiating Between Kundalini and Spiritual Awakening

  • The Focus of the Experience: Kundalini Awakening is more energy and body-focused, involving direct sensations and movements, whereas Spiritual Awakening can be more about consciousness and psychological transformation.  Although there is often an overlap.
  • Type of Guidance Sought: Those experiencing Kundalini Awakening may seek help from Kundalini yoga teachers, energy workers or healers, while those going through Spiritual Awakening may turn to spiritual teachers or guides and coaches well-versed in existential questions.
  • Quality of Experiences: Kundalini-related experiences are often described as more intense and physical, sometimes even chaotic, while spiritual awakening experiences tend to be calmer and centred on mental and emotional growth. Although spiritual awakenings can also be overwhelming and chaotic particularly if the person experiencing the awakening is 'unprepared'.
  • Sensation versus Insight: Physical sensations are more pronounced in Kundalini Awakening with the energy moving through chakras, and often feeling sensations moving up through the physical body, while Spiritual Awakening leans more towards insights, realisations, and expanded understanding and less physical.

Recognising the differences between Kundalini and Spiritual Awakening will help individuals better interpret their experiences and seek appropriate support. Moreover, these awakenings can sometimes blend or lead into each other, presenting a complex interplay of energy and consciousness.

Conclusion and Further Considerations

  • Balanced Approach: It is crucial for those undergoing either Kundalini or Spiritual Awakening to maintain a balanced life, including physical health, mental and emotional stability, and practical daily functioning.
  • Support Systems: Whether it's through a spiritual community, supportive friends, or family, a coach or mentor, having a network of support is invaluable in navigating the challenges of awakening.
  • Continued Learning: Continued study and learning about Kundalini and Spiritual Awakening can provide context and understanding, which can be incredibly reassuring.
  • Patience: Both awakenings are processes that unfold over time and require patience and the understanding that each person’s journey is unique.
  • Trust: Whether a Spiritual Awakening or Kundalini Awakening, each person who experiences an awakening is called to surrender and trust what is unfolding is for their highest good and the highest good of all.

To conclude, while the symptoms and signs of Kundalini Awakening and Spiritual Awakening may sometimes seem similar or overlapping, they remain distinct experiences. Kundalini Awakening is characterized by powerful energetic movements and physical sensations, whereas Spiritual Awakening is identified by a profound shift in one's perception of reality and a deep connection to the spiritual aspects of existence. Discerning the differences can empower individuals on their journey, aiding in personal growth and the responsible management of their awakening process. Above all, navigating these transitions with care, a sense of curiosity, and support can make all the difference in integrating these experiences into one's life.

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11May

Navigating Imposter Syndrome and Understanding How It Can Support Your Growth.

Hands up if you have ever experienced Imposter Syndrome or the Fraud Factor?

Yup, I most definitely have. When it arises, I am filled with self-doubt, wondering ‘who the hell am I to be saying or doing this?!’

 It has been active throughout my adult life; in my corporate career, when I launched my business, when I volunteered to Coach my daughter's football team, then again, when I pivoted my business.  To be totally honest, it has even come up again when launching my latest offering!

It’s an icky sensation of dread and discomfort, sitting deep in my solar plexus - the root of our emotional body and subconscious. Before I began practising self-regulation, the sensations would spiral quickly, moving into my upper body, manifesting as anxiety, along with other physical symptoms, and negative self-talk.

Imposter Syndrome is emotionally and energetically exhausting. On the outside, we wear a mask that shows everyone ‘I’ve got this!’, on the inside, we fear that we are going to be ‘discovered’ or 'found out' as a fraud.

We try to ‘fix’ Imposter Syndrome, which I have found to be like sticking a band-aid onto it.

Imposter Syndrome has deep roots.

What I uncovered was surprising but also a relief. It transformed my relationship with Imposter Syndrome. I no longer looked at it as if it was a sniper trying to take me out but instead a messenger reminding me to regulate my system as well as showing me what is coming up for healing, as part of my growth. It is a process, which is why it doesn't just 'go away'.

I still experience the sensations of Imposter Syndrome and that's ok! This is part of the human experience, but it definitely helps to navigate the process with as much grace and ease that is available to us.

It goes way beyond mindset work. 

Self-regulation and relearning to self-soothe, through somatic techniques from the science and wisdom of Kundalini Yoga and Energy Healing work, have played a huge part on my healing journey, helping me to navigate the sensations to serve me, rather than being controlled by them. I like to think of it as energetic alchemy.  

When we use the strong winds of self-doubt to support the sails of our metaphoric boat, to our advantage, we navigate more gracefully around the challenges and obstacles, instead of crashing into them.  This is resilience. 

When Imposter Syndrome arises now, know you're on the right track.

Imposter Syndrome has roots in our childhood.  But we can upgrade the old childhood programmes that are running by reparenting ourselves and understanding how to self-regulate and relearning new self-soothing techniques that serve us.

Which is why I invite you to go within, and look at the Inner Child.

Who is the Inner Child?

Well, it is you. 

The Inner Child lives in all of us, the aspects of self that we have denied, hidden or suppressed.

We all carry unresolved wounds or trauma - trauma doesn’t have to be big T trauma, for the majority of us it is little t trauma - when activated, our Inner Child runs the show.  

As children, particularly as young girls we were conditioned to be people pleasers, the ‘good’ girl.  We may not have felt seen, heard or valued. Or we were validated based on what we achieved.  We learnt to play the role of 'perfectionist' to earn love or validation.

Perfectionism is a key trait of Imposter Syndrome.

Our Inner Child protects us but keeps us in survival mode (fight or flight). These old programmes slow down our growth. We end up fearing change instead of embracing it. We become ‘fixed’ in our mindset and block the opportunities that are available to support our growth.

It’s now our time to heal AND grow AND thrive.

When we nurture and support our Magical Inner Child, we unleash new levels of creativity, we take healthy risks and create a ‘growth’ mindset.

When we lean in and trust the unconditional loving support of our Magical Child, we thrive, and reach beyond our self-imposed limitations.  Life truly becomes magical as we begin living a more aligned, authentic and soul-led life.

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21Oct

Self-Doubt, Imposter Syndrome, the Fraud Factor or Self-Sabotage has many guises. Learn to recognise it and how to overcome it.

Self-Doubt, Imposter Syndrome, the Fraud Factor or Self-Sabotage has many guises and it has been showing up A LOT over the last week for me, my coaching clients and my yoga students.

Is it slowing you down?

Even today, as I write this, my inner Gremlin piped up, ‘why are you even bothering, who’s going to want to read this’?  Of course, I politely thanked it, gave it the finger, then continued.

My friend Mary, who is also a fantastic Coach, calls her inner critics or Gremlins the ‘shitty committee’🤣 how brilliant is that!

Do you have a name for yours? When does your Gremlin or ‘shitty committee’ pop up?

I've noticed how my Gremlins are particularly shouty when I am going through shifts, growth spurts in my evolution or when I embark on a new project in my business. I used to freak out and then procrastinate, then do that thing I like to call Ostrich Syndrome where I bury my head in the sand! Thankfully, I don’t do that anymore - although procrastination does occasionally show up and when it does, I know it’s my self-doubt trying to out smart me!

Nowadays, I welcome my Gremlins (sometimes it definitely feels like more than one!) with open arms, give them a cuddle and shower them with love. Acknowledging that these Gremlins are just facets of me that are scared, small unresolved or unhealed parts of me, hidden and buried in my subconscious. They fear disapproval, judgement, being disliked and rejection.  This stems from our past; if our ancestors were rejected from their tribes or communities, it resulted in death, but thankfully rejection these days generally does not result in death!  The old primitive brain, or limbic brain, is doing its job and keeping us safe, as this is what it has learnt. So it's a matter of bringing this to our awareness, reassuring our brain (and Gremlins) that these fears do not have an awful ending.  Yes, it will feel uncomfortable but we need to allow ourselves to sit with and be amongst the discomfort of those feelings, without distraction.  Soon those feelings of rejection, disapproval, dislike no longer feel scary.

Growth is uncomfortable (remember growing pains?!) and transformation is icky, but if we don’t get comfortable with the uncomfortable, we continue to play small, or to stay invisible.  As well as our limbic brain, our ego (in the form of Gremlin or inner critic) chimes in to protect us. They hold us back from radiating our true greatness.  The best thing we can do is to surrender to the discomfort, give it the attention and love it needs to transmute it.  When we transmute energy, this is where the alchemy happens.  From here we can take action that is aligned with who we truly are.

So next time self doubt appears, know that it’s a sign that you’re on the right path and that a new you is emerging.

I no longer do the power pose in a corporate toilet cubicle before presenting to hundreds (although there is nothing wrong with it!) I have a Mary Poppins bag full of technologies and strategies to clear out the subconscious, to shift and transmute energy and emotions that come up in my day to help me navigate through the challenges with more grace, courage and ease.  

This is why I chose the Good Morning Krya for last Thursday’s Kundalini Yoga class.  Whether you are an entrepreneur running your own business, a corporate leader or a busy mother, this krya gets you started physically, emotionally and mentally.It’s called Good Morning because it gets everything started, just like the morning gets the day started. Of course, you don’t have to do it in the morning; it can be done anytime of the day.  This krya will support with:

  • Motivation 
  • Focus and clarity
  • Balancing the endocrine system (homeostasis)
  • Breaking negative thought patterns, habits of Self Doubt, ‘Imposter Syndrome’ or ‘Fraud Factor
  • Building courage
  • Increasing confidence

If you missed the live class, fear not! You can access the recorded replay here:

Go on, give it a go!

As one of my clients insightfully said to me after her session last week, 'sometimes we have to breakdown to have the breakthroughs!' As a Coach I hold space for my clients so that they are held and supported during and in-between sessions. Coaching is a co-creation, so don't ever feel you have to through any of the discomfort alone.

If you feel you may need some additional support with breaking patterns and habits of Imposter Syndrome and self-doubt, or heal subconscious blocks that are holding you back, then book your free 60 minute Coaching Consultation with me to see how Coaching can help you. Book your your Free Consultation here.

Beautiful Soul reading this, it is time for you to rise, to show up and be visible.  The world needs your light right now, more than ever.

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24Mar

Daily Practices for every day life

The last few weeks have been very surreal.  Covid-19 has put the world in lockdown. Most of us will never have experienced anything like this.  However, one thing that we can be certain of, during this uncertain time, is that this will change the world we live in, permanently, and I remain optimistic that it will be for the better.

From my personal perspective, many of my projects were placed on hold as companies and clients reflected on the effects that Covid-19 was having on their businesses and themselves.  The logical part of my brain suggested I carry on as normal (we are hard wired with a normalcy bias), as I was anxious to reach my monthly financial target.  However, the tug of my intuition was greater, so I made the decision to put work aside and focus on setting a new foundation for myself and for my family and to “prepare” for this challenging time ahead.  It certainly felt like we were heading towards a marathon and not just a sprint.

My prep began with a review of my daily practices; over time many of these have become habits, and I am aware how easy it is to break a habit, than to form one.  These practices are the foundations of my self-care routine, which is fundamental to supporting my family.  Many of my clients will have heard me say 'put the oxygen masks on yourself first',  which not only enables us to thrive but those in our care too. These practices include meditating, running outdoors and yoga. These all help me with clarity whilst strengthening my physical, mental and spiritual well-being.  They also help me to feel grounded, balanced and calm. Other practices are automatic writing, journalling and keeping a gratitude journal.  

The challenge now was to find a way of integrating these practices into our new routine now that the children would be homeschooled as both my husband and I would be working from home. At this point I was grateful for my meditation practice (as well as some frantic journalling!) as the thought of homeschooling definitely made me feel anxious!

A routine is a must, this helps prime our brains for success. External factors such as the coronavirus, social distancing and social isolation are not within our control, therefore it helps to focus on the things that are within our control. Routine also benefits children as it provides them with a structure for their day. Children are used to having a school routine, so they will expect one at home.  A routine gives them a sense of security, helps them to feel safe and understand what is expected of them.  

However, there needs to be an element of flexibility and fluidity in any routine or structure we put into place and don’t be afraid to change it. It’s important to practice self-compassion when we catch ourselves judging or giving ourselves a hard time over not completing a task or sticking to the routine.  Practicing Loving-kindness (Metta) meditation helps to develop deeper self-compassion.

Awareness is key here.  Being aware of the negative, unhelpful self-talk, also on how long we spend on social media or watching/reading the news and how we respond or react to the external circumstances.  These are all within our control. Whilst the coronavirus is not, we have the ability to bring our awareness to our reactions or responses and choose the quality of our experience.

Although our entire world has been shaken through its very core, we can choose to resist (not advisable!) or to accept what is happening and choose to learn and grow from this experience.  Acceptance is not passive, or a 'meh' response or one of indifference. It is a conscious choice that we have to accept, without resistance, a situation or emotion that arises in the present moment. It doesn't mean we have to like it or agree with it either.  Just observe from a space of awareness and allow whatever it is to unfold without resistance or getting in the way, notice how life flows in a state of acceptance rather than resistance.

Manageable Practices To Help You:

The below have certainly been helping me to get through this challenging time. If you're a parent like me, these can also be adapted to involve children.  Mine have loved getting involved and I feel these practices have helped them feel grounded, safe and has reduced any anxiety they may have had and has certainly deepened our connection.

1. Meditation

I am sure many know the benefits; the positive impact it has on our mental health and that it reduces stress and anxiety, increases focus and attention but not forgetting, improves our immune system, which is so important right now.  

When meditating with children, starting with shorter practices of 5 minutes that can be gradually increased. There are plenty of videos on YouTube or you can create your own like I've done.  My 5 year old spends most of his meditation rolling around on the yoga mat but he enjoys, metaphorically, floating over his favourite woods holding onto his yellow balloon!

2. Intention Setting: 

Even when self isolating we can choose how we will 'show up' each day whether we are WFH, homeschooling or both.  This practice is just as important now for families who are living in close proximity with others as it can be a testing time!  It's another great one to involve the kids with although I wasn't sure at first if they would get it. However, I smiled when I read my 9 year old daughter's intention on our 1st day of homeschooling...“To start the week off in the best way I possibly can during this challenging time”.  

3. Gratitude

A daily gratitude practice strengthens our mental health, increases self-esteem, improves sleep amongst other things.  I write my list in my journal before bedtime. However if you’re just starting out, you might find it more manageable to start with 3 things and work your way up. Don’t get stuck on the time of the day, it can be anytime just choose what works for you. My kids love this one and I find it's a good one to do over dinner as a family. 

4. Choose well: 

By this I mean choose how much time you spend watching/reading the news, how much time you spend on social media and put a limit on it. I was shocked at how much my screen time has increased over the last couple of weeks. Allocate certain times of the day, keeping the information factual. It’s so easy to get caught up in the frenzy, which only adds to the anxiety, putting more stress on the body, releasing cortisol, thus weakening our immune system.  We need to be fit and healthy mentally and physically during this time.  Bringing our awareness to focus on the positives, the brain is hardwired towards a negativity bias. Therefore choosing positive stories, thoughts and a gratitude practice can help us to fight this bias.

5. Put the oxygen mask on yourself: 

With many of us juggling work and homeschooling, we will be finding it tough, so please make sure you carve out time for you and integrate self-care into your routine. Whether it’s going for a run, doing YouTube exercise videos, Yoga, or going for a walk, reading, journalling or going for a nap. ‘You’ time for your sanity and mental health is non-negotiable.

6. Small acts of kindness:  

Call your parents, vulnerable neighbours, or joining a local group to support the elderly and vulnerable in your community. Give someone the gift of listening, offer to get essential items or a food delivery (if you can!). Small act of kindness go such a long way.

7. Spend time in nature:

If you can, and within the social distancing guidelines! The benefits are endless and proven both for our mental health and physical health.  If you’ve got access to a garden, get out with the kids and make a bug hotel, make mud pies or go for a barefoot walk in the mud! Seriously! Grounding or Earthing, as it's known, has so many benefits and once again, is said to improve our immune system. 

There are no set times of the days to do these practices, add them to your routine but be fluid and don't give yourself a hard time if you miss one.  Sometimes it's just best to stay in PJ's, eat popcorn and watch movies!  

As individuals, communities, countries and as a species we are going to come out of this changed, stronger, more connected with a much greater understanding of ourselves, each other and our planet.

I shall leave you to ponder on this...

How do I make this obstacle the greatest thing that has ever happened to me? 

Get journalling. It's not like we haven't got the time!

Love,

Tuğçe x



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24Oct

It seems curious that 'busyness' has become such a status symbol of our times.  Why has busyness become a marker for success? We wear it like a badge of honour, "Oh I'm SOOOO BUSY!" When was the last time you heard someone exclaim that they weren't busy?

We are too busy to go on holiday, to switch off even when we are on holiday, we are so busy that we have to read our emails/social media feeds before bed and the minute we wake up...It is deemed perfectly normal to be glued to your smartphone and have your laptop surgically attached to you.

How and why have we forgotten the art, and maybe more importantly, the value of doing less and slowing down?

Let's rewind to 27 BC (ish), to the time of the Roman Emperor Augustus, who famously coined the term "Festina Lente!", translated as "Hasten, Slowly" or "Advance, Slowly" (given the military connotations).  Now this oxymoronic phrase was one of many he used, including "Better a safe commander than a bold""That which has been done well has been done quickly enough".  

Emperor Augustus was clearly a busy man himself, he had an Empire to build, soldiers to train, but his words seem sage-like for one who conquered most of Europe and beyond.  His considered and reflective approach seems to have served him and his empire well.

Fast forward to the year 2019 and Augustus's quote serves as a reminder that in order to get things done, it has to be done well, which does not mean quickly, nor simultaneously with everything on our mile-long to-do lists.

Of course, there are two millennia in between us and Augustus, but I still can't help but think there is a wisdom in his reflective style that we have forgotten.  Under all our mile-long to-do lists, goals the size of houses, constant need for likes and spinning more plates than we can handle is a need to be distracted. Have we become a generation that is afraid to pause, reflect, to go within and introspect?

The exponential growth of technology in this century has added to our life of distractions. According to one source the human brain is loaded with 34GB of information...daily! That's a HUGE amount of data, that would overload a laptop within a week.  

Microsoft research shows that our concentration span has fallen from 12 seconds from 2000 to 8 seconds in 2019. That's a 1/3 in the last 19 years, which seems quite significant.  Although not really a surprise given that everything is now bitesized, you only have to watch Peppa Pig!

Thankfully, we aren't computers and we can allow ourselves the space to reflect.  We can ourselves ask ourselves if "this attraction is a distraction?" and take a moment to slow down, pause and NOT react to the next what's app message that appears on our phone or the next email that pings into our inbox.

Not reacting is key, but not as easy as it sounds.  Scientific data shows we seek comfort in the instant gratification, it makes us feel momentarily better and gives us a dopamine high, which we may regret later. 

The origins to why we like being busy could go even deeper still, ranging from the inability to say no due to our social conditioning, not setting clear boundaries for ourselves or using it as a coping mechanism.  

Long term goals may not give us that dopamine hit that we so enjoy, but in order to pursue that promotion, to find that relationship, to create that financial stability we need to nurture ourselves and in order to advance, we have to go about it slowly and take our time.  But if all we are doing are the little instantly gratifying tasks, then there is no time to do the big things that make a difference in our lives and create a life of purpose.

Thankfully, as I mentioned above, we are not computers.  And we have a choice.

Next time we find ourselves telling others we are "So busy", let's take a moment to explore what it really means:

  1. Am I really saying...I'm overwhelmed, I'm more important than you, or I am avoiding someone or something in my life?  Take a moment or two for self reflection, perhaps we need support, what or who exactly are we avoiding or perhaps there is a deeper meaning behind why we are getting distracted.  Really try to hone in on what it is.
  2. Let's be kind and compassionate to ourselves as we would be towards others.  Don't let the gremlins in our head berate ourselves for taking time out to reflect and be a human being, after all we are not human doings.  Self care is key, especially if you have other people to support.

If we can recognise these elements within ourselves, then it's a great start.  Although we might feel uncomfortable with this introspection we can only move forward when we do AND when coupled with taking action it can help us to do things differently, thus avoiding burnout.

Going back to Emperor Augustus, if we remember his mantra in our modern day lives, and choose to take the time to reflect and see clearly. Pause and take a moment to imagine what is achievable. 

Coming from a guy who created the Roman Empire...it might actually be quite BIG.  

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Receive free access to a series of breathing techniques to calm your nervous system, reduce anxiety, stress and overwhelm.

Inspired by the science of Kundalini, I have been guided to share a series of pranayam (breathing) techniques.  

These techniques are short and simple and can be done anytime, anywhere. You definitely don’t have to be a meditation expert or a yogi to do them!

I am really passionate about supporting people, so I truly hope that these simple, yet powerful techniques can help you get back on track, like they’ve helped me and many of my clients.